Blissful and Domestic - Creating a Beautiful Life on Less: Dear Anonymous....

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Dear Anonymous....

 Dear Anonymous....

Dear Anonymous,

I wanted to let you know that I am a busy mama. A mama who has a lot of things to do throughout the day, just as I assume you do too. I blog because it is something I feel passionate about...it is something I feel called to do. I sometimes have punctuation errors in my posts and hey I may even misspell a word or two...or five....(I am sure you will find many in this post alone), but that does not mean you get to tell me I am a "horror for teaching my children at home". It does not mean you get to tell me my "children will be screwed up because of me". Didn't you ever learn that if you don't have something nice to way, it is better to not say anything at all? I am human and I make mistakes, but that does not make me a bad Mom. I really don't appreciate you saying that. Your words hurt. You write your comment, somehow feeling better about yourself after you do so, and I am left feeling like crap. I am a sensitive daughter of God, who doesn't appreciate being put down like that. I would NOT do it to you, so please don't do it to me. I don't have an editor, meaning I don't have someone proof reading everything I write. Remember I said I was a Mom? Well that takes up most of my day. I blog for a hobby. A hobby that has been blessing others as they learn to live within their means. I do have errors and I don't mind when they are pointed out, in fact I appreciate it, so then I can fix them in my posts. So it is not that you pointed out I misspelled something, it is the way you did it. Again I am not a bad Mom because I misspelled a word. Please remember that.

Oh and in regards to my Freezer Food post, which you felt very compelled to leave your thoughts on in the comments and in emails, I have a few thoughts for you...

I often don't post about exactly what I buy at the grocery store. Why? Well because everyone wants to get their 2 cents in and sometimes it is not kind. I know that some of you were quite "Passionate" about your views on my freezer food post and I have a few things to say. I appreciate when you all comment because I believe that through our words we can uplift and inspire one another. That is why blogs are so amazing. They give people a voice to share a message with others from all over the world. I share the message of frugal living. We are all in different seasons of life, different income levels, and different levels of frugal living experience. Because of that, I try to show all sides of frugal living.

For some, who may not want to cook or don't know how, they may choose to serve freezer meals to their families. I use to be that way. When I didn't know how to cook, I started out with quick freezer meals. It was a simple way for me to still take control of our finances and save money. I paired those freezer meals with vegetables and fruits. My family was getting a healthy meal. Could it have been better? Sure, but I was using the tools I had at the time.

Others may choose those meals because that is what they can afford at the time. I have been there. There was a time when I wasn't sure how I would be able to feed my family. At the time I wasn't thinking about GMO or preservatives. What I was thinking about was feeding that family of mine food that would fill their tummy. I think it is always important to be aware of this when we are commenting. We are all different and we all have our own ways to save. I believe in sharing that, but I do not believe in putting someone down because you don't agree with something they do. I am going to start sharing what I buy, so you can get tips on what will work for your family. I am not telling you to buy exactly this, but what I am doing is giving ideas. I am showing what works for my family, so please be kind in the comments. I don't like feeling like I cannot blog about certain things for fear of rude comments. I am not a bad Mom because I give my family freezer foods. We all have moments where life gets crazy and we need a back up. That is what my freezer post was about. It is was about having a back up in your freezer, so you don't go to the drive thru. For those of you that said fast food would have been better than the freezer food, I strongly disagree, and that's ok. We don't have to agree, but we can be kind in the way that we share that.

Why did I decide to write this post? Well because those rude words that Mr. and Mrs. Anonymous left, hurt. They make me want to turn comments off of this blog because frankly feeling like crud, when you put so much time into something, sucks...big time. I spend all of my free time on this blog, writing, editing, and putting posts together for you. I love this hobby. I feel so passionate about it and know this is where God wants me to be, but I am human and I do have flaws and short comings. Having them pointed out everyday is not cool.

For those of you that came to my defense, thank you. You are all amazing and make me so happy to have you as readers. Now this post is not a Dear Anonymous bashing post. It is just a reminder that in my little piece of the web, I want encouragement. I want consideration. I want us to encourage each other to be our best selves.

I hope you can see that this post is written from a heavy heart. A heart that has been hurting and had a hard time working on this blog this weekend. A heart that truly loves all of you. I have never met you, but have gotten to know you through this blog and I am thankful for every single moment. I love hearing the small changes you are making in your own lives. I love celebrating those victories with you.

You make this blog worth it!

So again please do not get mixed up and think I do not appreciate you because I do immensely. I appreciate every word, but I could do without the Danielle bashing please. Pretty please:) My heart would feel a whole lot better.

Know that I appreciate every single one of you, even dear Mr. and Mrs. Anonymous :)

XO Danielle

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78 comments:

  1. I love reading your blog and watching your YouTube videos I have learned a lot from you... Don't let any of the naysayers get you down we all make mistakes it's human nature I personally think you are doing a great job and by the looks of your followers I'd say there are more fans out here so keep up all the good work you do because I look forward to it all !!! Love , Jess

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  2. I love your blog, and everything about it! It's nice to be able to relate to a REAL mom like ME!!!! Thank you for everything you do, and for all the hard work you put in this blog! You are amazing, and I don't comment much... just read from the sidelines :) But felt compelled to let you know that you are awesome, and your blog has helped me personally as a mother and our family! Thank you for everything!

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  3. I am sorry you had to go through mean "anonymous" comments, Danielle. It does hurt receiving them, but I have learnt NOT to take any comment from an anonymous reader serious - took me some time, but there is a reason they prefer to "hide". Keep it up, love your blog !

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  4. Thank you Danielle for your great blog. I have been following your blog for the past two years. Your was the first blog I read and subscribed to. I have had to learn to live on a very tight budget and your blog and the hard work you put into it has helped me tremendously.

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  5. Danielle~ this post made me sad. It made me sad that someone out there in blog land is so mean. I doesn't surprise be because I have encountered this myself with my little family blog. It is hurtful and even scary, but know that the vast majority of your readers, like me, love your blog and appreciate all your fun and frugal ideas and inspiration! Thanks for everything you do. Feel better. You are loved!
    ~Deb

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  6. I'm so sorry that you had someone behaving this way! Move on people if you don't have something nice to say! It always makes my blood boil slightly when the grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. Nazi's show up and people that are just plain mean. Hang in there, I love reading your blog.

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  7. I am so sorry that this happened to you! You are such a sweet lady and I can't imagine anyone being mean to you. I absolutely love your blog and your thrifty tips have changed my life. I was really sick with my pregnancy, had to step down from my job earlier than planned, and was worried about how to make ends meet. Your blog showed me that thriftiness can be fun and effective. It really gave me peace through a hard time. I love reading about your sweet little's and I hope that my son (who I plan to home school) will be as bright and sweet as your kids are. :)

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  8. You have a lovely blog. Ignore those hurtful people; they are nasty and rude and don't have the courage to even sign their names.

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  9. Rarely post comments on your blog, but I am a faithful follower. I feel so sorry for you with those who are rude and say rude comments to you or about you. Must say that your thoughts are your thoughts, your opinion is your opinion. If they dislike you or your content that much they should stop following. That's all. I will pray for you that this is only a test and you will continue to blog.

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  10. Oh Danielle, I'm so sorry that you even had to write this post! With only four months into this blogging thing, I haven't encountered the negativity yet {hope I didn't just jinx that} but I try to ready my heart for it, if that's even possible. So sorry my dear friend!

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  11. Good for you! People are creeps. -K

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  12. I agree completely. My son knows I love him more than anything in this world and he doesn't care that I may spell a word incorrectly or make a grammar error. What matters to him is that he has my time and affection. From what I can see on your blog you are a great mother. And as far as freezer foods go there was a time we were really struggling. Some weeks I had $20 to spend on a weeks worth of groceries. Just making sure my son had 3 meals a day was a challenge. Yes, I feed him freezer food and we all survived. You may not agree with feeding your children frozen waffles but isn't that better then them having nothing to eat? O love your blog and read it every day!

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  13. I think I've been a subscriber for a year now. I love this blog!! I almost teared up reading this and the fact that someone hurt your feelings. It's so easy for others to cast judgment on decisions we make that may be best for our family at the time. I look up to you in so many ways. Thank you for sharing all your wisdom and letting us have a peek into your life every day.

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  14. I'm not sure that I have ever commented, but I do come to your blog every day. I know it was because of a frugal living type of post, but I don't remember what exactly brought me here. I love coming every day and reading what you've wrote. I'm no editor either and I know I make mistakes too. I hope that these rude people remember that it's not their place to judge. They don't know you. You are awesome! I think so, even if I have never met you. :)

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  15. Personally, I think that anyone posting disparaging comments about another blogger is frankly not in the spirit of blogging. They are just cruel trolls as far as I am concerned. Please don't be put off by their unnecessary unpleasantness. You are doing a great job. You're not a bad mom, far from it and if you make the odd spelling mistake or choose to give your children food from your freezer for whatever reason, SO WHAT! You are not breaking any laws or hurting anyone. There are far too many people out there making ridiculous assumptions about everyone else. Life is hard enough without their unkind judgements, especially when it is based on ignorance of others' financial circumstances. You do not have to justify your lifestyle to these people. Keep up your good work and please do not be put off by those whose insensitivity makes them feel it is it their right to disparage others, yet do not even have the courage to identify themselves.

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  16. Well said! It's funny how when people say they dislike something they then follow it religiously....says something about them! Perhaps they like to be negative.

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  17. You just rocked my socks :) Thank you...I would've ditto'd everything you just said.

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  18. Hang in there! I think this may fall under the classic saying of,"haters gonna hate." :) So don't let them get you down, focus on all of the positive Lovelies that have your back!

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  19. Oops meant to sign my name. Leanna

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  20. Amen!! I look forward to your posts everyday!! Keep up the good work Danielle!! You are a blessing to your readers!

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  21. I am not usually one to post comments but I feel compelled to comment on this one. I myself am a bit of a "grammar nazi" as my husband likes to call me. Danielle, yes some of your posts do have misspelled words and grammatical mistakes. However, spelling and grammar have little to no impact on the point you are trying to make and your ability to get that point across to your audience. It is very easy for a coward to hide behind "ANONYMOUS" to make their disparaging comments. To ANONYMOUNS - if you don't like the spelling, or the content for that matter then the answer is simple. Don't read this blog. If you are too ignorant to figure that one out then I feel more pity for you than you obviously do for this sweet woman's children. Just because she chooses to share snippets of her life with us as her audience does not mean that she has to disclose every detail. We are the audience - not a judge and jury. So if you are one of those people who has nothing better to do with their time than read articles online then waste the time to pick them apart in the comments MOVE ON. Spend that wasted time with your children, loved ones, dog, cat or whatever or use it to chase someone around the frozen foods section of your local grocer and harass them FACE TO FACE about their less than perfect food choices. Leave this poor woman alone.

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  22. I love your post and your blog! so what if you misspell something? You need to remember that no matter what these children are YOURS> Whatever you decide to teach them and feed them for supper is only your and your husbands business. I myself have to stretch those grocery dollars and I do my very best to make sure we have balanced meals but Im not saying we dont squeak in some ramen noodles every now and then .lol Bottom line our children are fed, clean, clothed, and loved and that means so much in the world that we are living in.You keep up the good work!

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  23. Oh I just want give you a hug! This is one of the reasons that I chose not to blog anymore. People can be mean, and really mean when they can hide behind their computers. I enjoy all of your posts and I know it takes a lot of hard work to make a blog successful. The freezer meal post showed me you were human and not super mom. I would love to have home cooked meals for my family every day but you know what? I get tired and sometimes it's more worth it to throw something in quick and snuggle the kids then stress out about preparing this time consuming home cooked meal! So hugs to you and your blog is one of the first I check on a daily basis - I'm loving the home tour posts.

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  24. I hope your heart is not heavy anymore. You are a great mom, don't let anybody tell you something else <3

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  25. shame on them you are such a sweetie

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  26. I have no idea what people have commented that was unkind, but I'm sorry that they did. I don't understand why people feel the need to be mean...I guess as humans, it's easier to pop off and say unkind words than to show some restraint and move on. I enjoy your blog, and found it awhile back when you were on FoxNews.com! You're pretty darn inspiring to many people out there...keep doing what you're doing!

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  27. You poor thing! I can't believe someone wrote such mean and cruel comments over something so trivial in life. In fact I can't believe people have the gaul to leave bad comments at all! I treasure your posts and I hope you won't quit such a wonderful and helpful hobby. Thank you for all the inspiration you have given me through your posts and have a WONDERFUL day!

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  28. I enjoy your blog and I especially like it because it is real. Frankly, I don't read those mega blogs with their perfect photos and perfectly edited lines. You are Real and I appreciate Real.
    If I wanted perfect, I would read glossy expensive magazines that have no reality for us normal homemakers.
    Keep up the good happy work and ignore those trolls!

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  29. Mercy! I think I must have missed that posting! I home schooled 3 of my 5 daughters and I would get the same comments. I also had relatives who thought we didn't do anything all day, so they would drop by without calling. After several of these visits, I stopped them at the door and kindly told them that it was school hours and unless it was an emergency, they would need to come back after school. They didn't like that and I became the black sheep of the family. I got over it but they didn't. I just looked at it as their lose, as I have terrific girls!
    I hope you don't stop blogging due to some nasty remarks. Some people just need to be hateful. I always think that means they are just very unhappy and need some love. :)
    Hope you have a wonderful day!

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  30. I'm almost 60 years old....children are grown and it's just me and my husband. I still have learned so much from your blog and I regularly share that knowledge with my daughter who is busy with work, 3 kids, husband, etc. I will never understand haters whether it's hating over a blog or anything else. There are a lot of people unhappy in their lives and taking it out on those of us who are happy. You have a beautiful family, a loving husband, and a gift for saving money not just for yourself but for helping out the rest of us. Keep on blogging - maybe take a day to just have fun time with those kiddos and then come back fresh.....we'll be waiting!

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  31. I love to see little spelling errors in blog posts and such. It is a little reminder that no one is perfect! I put together a newsletter as part of my job and I would have someone send in the newsletters with corrections regularly. It did hurt knowing that it bothered someone enough to point out each and every flaw. It got to the point where I had major anxiety sending it out - but after thinking about it and getting encouragement from co-workers, I was able to get past it. It was hard though. If it bothers people that much, then they shouldn't read it.

    I love your blog. I love the fact that you have freezer meals that you use! I would be a very bad mom if people saw what I have in my freezer =) Working full time outside the home leaves very little time for the perfect, healthy meals. I try to use crock pot meals, but often have the quick, freezer meals. And I totally agree that fast food is worse than freezer meals.

    Keep up the wonderful work. For that one or two negative nellies, there are thousands of supporters!

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  32. Danielle, first time commenter, here. I am an admitted perfectionist, former spelling bee champ, and all about proper grammar...we ALL make mistakes when writing, typing, an talking. You are such a sweet lady and your spirit shines through in your writing style. If I notice anything in your writing, it is that. The way you write makes me feel like I'm talking with a good friend. I can honestly say I love you, your blog, and the way you are choosing to mother your children. Keep doing what you are doing. Don't compromise your moral convictions and stoop to the level of the anonymous commenters. You may be the only glimpse of God's love they get to see. I hope this has encouraged you.

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  33. Well said! And as a mama who has been homeschooling for seven years and counting, I've learned to tell people that I'm not the teacher, I'm the head learner! Homeschooling mamas are by NO means perfect! Keep your chin up, Mama! You are doing great things!

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  34. Your kids and family are blessed to have you. Personally, I make spelling, grammar and punctuation errors all the time! I'm a fairly educated individual with two college degrees. Ain't one of them in English or Grammar! ;-)

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  35. You have no idea how much you have helped this anon. (sorry I don’t have any of those things to sign in as but I always try to sign my name.) I (like many) have a busy schedule. There are many times where the easy button is the drive thru. Its easy until you can’t pay your bills and then you are in trouble. So I have been inspired to plan and shop for meals. I do have to say I HATE grocery shopping. It is so time consuming and a necessary evil. There was a long time I avoided it and did the fast food thing. And then that would make me sick. So we would do “healthier” “fast food” (chipotle?) but its so expensive. So now I am working really hard on planning. And it is so inspired by you! And I thank you for that.
    For your freezer post I don’t think you were saying “eat like this everyday.” I get that it was hey when your plan A has failed have a plan B in the freezer. That’s it. YES, I generally try to avoid purchasing freezer meals (ready assembled). But I do see how it is better budget wise and how the occasional wont kill you. And your kids can shower while you “prepare” dinner after practice instead of showering at 10pm because you sat in the drive thru and then had to eat and so on and so on. (never happened ;0) ) When we are learning and growing (planning meals/budgeting) we take baby steps and sometimes we fall (forget and ingredient/forget to get the meal in the crockpot). What matters is we stick to the plan (or backup in the freezer if we must) and don’t throw in the towel and quit (hit up the drive thru/blow or budget). Right now I need to remember that its OK if we have cereal/PB&J at home if something came up and we can’t follow our meal plan. And I learned that from you. Thanks for all you do. I am really inspired by you. Please keep your head up. Sending hugs, Jaime

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  36. I thought I entered a comment, but my computer is weird..haha..I am so very sorry that you had to go through that, words do hurt and some people have nothing better to do with their time than to bash people for anything..just remember how happy your home is, their home probably isn't anywhere near as happy as yours!!! I always look forward to any posts of yours and do remember that most of us find you creative and wonderful!!! Love always, Patricia

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  37. You're a GREAT momma and wife, and have a deep faith and love for God---that's all that matters! Keep your head up, and lighten your heavy heart. The love that people have for you outshine those who show hate.

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  38. I love your blog and it is a part of my daily routine to read it--many times more than once!!! you are a God filled wife and mother and I feel
    like you are my friend--you are awesome!!!! hugs for a better day--

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  39. You are amazing and your blog helps many! I HATE when people leave rude comments. And don't you love how they're always "Anonymous"...I seriously don't understand how that makes people feel better to put others down. Truly, they feel horrible about themselves in the first place. Keep on sharing your great advice...love it!

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  40. It's so wonderful to see all the love here for you and all the effort & time you put into this blog, so that you may help others as you are called by God to do. I know the power of what you are sharing will carry you through even the negative parts of this process. Stay strong, my dear!

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  41. Danielle...It is never fun to be criticized, whether it be by an anonymous person in the blogosphere, or someone near and dear to you. Unfortunately, there will always be people who feel they have the right, and even sometimes 'duty', to judge you, down to the minutest details of how you live your life. And when that happens, I know it can hurt. A lot. It can make you lose a little bit of faith in the world, in people, and sometimes in yourself. I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Isn't it so hard to not let words hurt? But Danielle, you're a precious daughter of God. You've been given attributes and talents by Him that are completely unique. He sees the infinite potential in you others can't see. He knows how amazing you are! Try your darnedest to remember that when hurtful words are about to sting. Be strong, be courageous, be confident. Don't let those words get under your skin. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Even the anonymous' of the world criticizing others from behind their computers need our compassion. We can't judge people. We just don't know them. We don't know their hearts, or their struggles, or their fears, or their weaknesses. I'm so grateful to know that we have a Savior, and that he is the perfect judge and ultimately the only judge. He knows you intimately, he knows me intimately, and he knows the anonymous' floating out there intimately. He knows everything in our hearts, our minds, our souls. It is such a comfort to know that, because that means when people hurt us, we can use the healing power of His atonement to let those stinging words go. Danielle, your awesome! You're a great example. You're obviously trying your best to be a faithful daughter of God. I hope you feel peace in your heart. You are loved! xoxo

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  42. Deputy Chief D. GonzalezAugust 5, 2014 at 11:50 AM

    Danielle,

    You are a strong woman! I wouldn't have even acknowledged this person in a blog post nor would I have wasted any energy or space on a coward who is too scared to claim his or her atrocious behavior. Now that you have said your piece, I write to you: 1) All of your blog followers should take an oath to never again speak of this person, 2) If this person's behavior continues, apologize to the group and insist anyone who wishes to leave a comment use a profile, or 3) Have this person who is so opinionated and hateful, but unwilling to claim their superiority above all others blocked by your from leaving messages. I SURE would love to help you do this.

    I have never written before because I have never felt the passion to impart my advice on your already helpful tips and I respect what you are doing; however, now you have drawn a line in the sand and I will stand behind you to make sure it is not crossed again.

    "Cyberbullying is a CRIME" and will be reported to the local authorities. If you, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous are unaware, you may wish to educate yourself on bullying and additional charges for the inclusion or repetition or stalking. Here is an example: "[a]ttacking someone ... verbally" by taunting them OR by "writing mean things." Who knew a little game could be so serious under the law?

    Since all bullying has been done right here on this blog site, there is no way the investigators will need to search for evidence if they intend to submit a file to the prosecution. Please stop cyberbullying here and anywhere else you think it is funny. It's rude and you wouldn't want someone to do it to you.

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  43. Hey you!

    This Is Not Cool! I really don's understand why people say and do mean things to eachother. Just because you have a different point of view doesn't make the other persons thought and actions wrong... I am from the Netherlands, the way we live here is different, the view on frugal living is different, the stores, the foods are different. But still I like reading your thought on frugal living. I take the things I can use or like, and leave the things that don't speak to me or don't work for me (or in this country). For instance, homescholing does not happen in the Netherlands, so it is not something I could use. And I do not believe in God, so your thoughts on that are not ones I share. But thats OK. I do read the posts, but thats all. It doesn't make me think of you any less. I still like the way you write and the tips you give.
    And I really don't like it that you are hurt. Just because I think you are a great woman, someone who tries to live her life helping out others, and trying to do the best she can for all people around her. And I do think it is terrific that you show your weakness. It makes you a real person, a honest, a true person. So, there you have it. My thougts on you. Please stay true to yourself and the way you live. Just be you because you are great! Lots of love all the way from Holland!

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  44. Criticism hurts. I have a bad habit of holding onto it, even if there are many more positive remarks than negative ones. The more you're in the public eye, the more susceptible you are to both types of feedback. Please don't let it deter you from doing all the good work that you do. No one is perfect, and most of us are trying to do better and learn more every day!

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  45. ugh, I'm sorry. Try not to let those negative people get to you too much. They must be so miserable with their lives that they want to make everyone else miserable too.
    Sending hugs!

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  46. I love you and your blog!!!

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  47. So now constructive criticism = bullying = a criminal act? But saying and (by default) encouraging your reader to say mean things about people who don't agree with you is self-defense? I do think you have a very thin skin, Danielle. Saying you have poor grammar and spelling is a provable fact. It is something you can improve; and pointing that out to you is not bullying, but an attempt to help you improve your writing style. If you are writing a book your editor will point it out to you too. Does that mean you'll take to the blog to bash her too?

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    1. Absolutely I can improve on grammar. Can't we all? I don't mind it being pointed out, so I can fix it. I even state that above, but being put down and told you suck as a mom or as a person is absolutely NOT constructive. This post is about telling everyone it is not ok to say horrible things because words hurt. Constructive and mean are two separate things. I'll take constructive all day, but mean..no thank you.

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    2. I think I'm the person who wrote the comment you're referring to, in which case you have grossly misrepresented my words, to the point of dishonesty. I never said you were a bad person or that you sucked as a mother. I said that I have no doubt you love your children very much; but that in my opinion you're doing them a disservice by homeschooling them, given your grammar, spelling, and geography skills. That is a much different thing. I'll see if I can explain a bit better . . . We have all had the experience of having a teacher who just wasn't up to snuff. My 8th grade history teacher told me aliens built the pyramids. Stupid, right? Because I'd studied the pyramids before, and because I studied the pyramids after, I knew he was just a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal. But imagine he was my parent, and he was homeschooling me. I'd grow up thinking aliens built the pyramids. That's harmful to my future education. Imagine me going to Egypt: "Oh wow, look at those pyramids, those aliens sure did a great job!" Imagine the mocking, imagine the derision. Your poor grammar and spelling certainly does not even come close to reaching that level - I will repeat that again, your poor grammar and spelling certainly does not even come close to reaching that level; but imagine your child writing a college application essay, when all of his life, he has had improper grammar and spelling reinforced by his only teacher (you). It diminishes his chances of being accepted into college. Imagine his future career, which will no doubt include some form of writing. It diminishes his chances of career advancement.

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    3. You have stated before that in your home you reward effort and don't care about perfection. That's great. That's admirable - to a point. But children have to learn there are rules. These rules are important, because as we progress through life, our academic skills will reflect on us. Our ability to understand and regurgitate things like spelling and grammar will either help us or hinder us.

      I know as a mother you want the very best for your children. I know you understand that wanting the very best for your children doesn't mean you always give in to them. When your daughter asks for chocolate ice cream for dinner, you say no, because you understand she needs a well-balanced diet and you do your best, within the confines of your economic situation, to provide that for her. That's because you're a good mommy. But it's the same with education - When your daughter uses poor grammar you should correct her, because you should understand she needs to know these things for her future. If you hold your children to that standard, shouldn't you hold yourself to that same standard?

      Grammar and spelling must be learned. If you know you are lacking in this area, perhaps you would be well-served by taking a writing class. If you cannot afford community college, you might find a course provided on-line for free from a service such as Coursera. With better grammar and writing skills you will be better placed to pursue your goals of becoming an author, and to teach these things to your children. As for spelling, that can easily be corrected by writing your posts in Word and then copying them across. When I suggest this to you I am not calling you a sucky mother, or saying that you are screwing up your children; it is coming from a place of genuine concern. I know you want the best for your children - we all do - but that sometimes means we must first work on improving our own skills. I'm bad at math. If I was homeschooling my children, for anything other than basic math, I would first take a couple of courses to improve my own skills and confidence. Loving my children is not enough of a qualification to teach them; where my education is lacking, I would first seek to improve it so that I could more effectively teach my children. I would not write a blog post insulting the person who said my math skills were lacking; misrepresenting what was said; calling them names; and encouraging others to do the same.

      I do see a very big double-standard on your blog: You will criticize others but will not accept criticizism yourself, and will instead encourage your readers to bash and name-call anyone who criticizes you. I am the same anon who, last year, corrected you when you said that Nevada was on the West Coast. You belittled and attacked me for that, and allowed several readers to do the same, without allowing me the right of reply. That came much closer to cyber-bullying than my initial statement.

      Delete
    4. We should all seek to be better for our children's sake but if we only teach that which we have ourselves perfected, (academic, spiritual, social, etc.) we would abdicate all teaching to those whose opinion of themselves is not based in reality (think Last Days of Socrates) and miss a million brilliant moments to lift ourselves by lifting others.

      Delete
    5. Danielle,

      Don't worry about your aggressor who has nothing better to do than waste your time. Truth be told, his grammar has errors as well. (a comma splice here and a hanging participle there) Don't let yourself get worked up about it.

      Delete
    6. Dear Anonymous and the other anonymous,
      You obviously have no idea what kind of life Danielle or many other busy moms lead. I do believe that we all make mistakes when we are in a hurry, when we have many things going on in our lives. Hasn't this ever happened to you, or are you so perfect that you make no mistakes? How do you even know that she does not correct her kids on their grammar usage? How can you say that she is doing a disservice homeschooling her kids? Maybe it's a disservice to send her kids to public school, where the very same things happen. Everyone makes mistakes. How can you say that she is encouraging her readers to attack anyone that disagrees with a comment? I think you made the biggest mistake when you posted your comment. Your words were critical. You said it yourself when you said "I am very hesitant to criticize", Seems like you could have gotten your point across a little nicer. Maybe a friendly email to Danielle instead of pointing out her errors to all the readers?

      As far as the other comments go, I generally overlook comments about nutrition and opinions on what you feed your family or choose to buy. I am pretty sure that Danielle can read those nutritional labels and ingredient lists. She writes about a variety of things on her blog, but most of all she writes about being a momma, living frugally, making your own and being the best she can be. Nowhere does she profess to be a nutritionist, or a healthy food blogger. She does often say that she does the best she can for her family. That is what she was doing when she stated that it is good for her family to have these items or ones like them around the house for times when life doesn't allow time for a homemade meal. It is better than a drive-thru. It is cheaper than the drive thru and most of all, the family got fed. Nobody went hungry. Sure there are many different choices that can be made, but this was just an example. An example of some foods that are purchased for nights like this. You know what I thought of when I saw this article? I thought of how I need to get more quick meals or ideas for my family, for nights when life just gets too busy. The post was meant to encourage you to think about ways you could prepare to keep your family out of the drive thru. Those ways may be different for each and every one of us.

      Everyone should also remember that the comments seen on the blog post were not the only comments received. My guess is that the private ones emailed to Danielle were quite a bit more harsh.

      To Danielle,
      Thanks for all you do with the blog. I know how much work it is and how comments can get you down. I am just getting back into it after receiving some pretty hateful words in email comments. Trust me, the words are worse in emails. Don't let them get you down. Keep your head up and keep being real. Your blog is growing tremendously, so you must be doing something right. I mean really, Anonymous 1 has been around for almost 2 years now!
      I love reading your posts, and watching your videos. Not all of the posts are for me, but I just skip by those that are of know interest. I do this on all blogs I read. I hope that is what people do on my blog as well. I'm pretty sure most people do this when when reading blogs, articles or many other things.
      Thanks for keeping things real. I feel like we could be great friends, and I don"t even "know" you and have never even talked to you. I think you have that way with people and are a really genuine person and a great momma.

      Hope everyone will check this great post out. No, I did not write it. I read it earlier this summer and enjoyed it immensely. http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/06/dear-moms-lets-stop-being-mean-to-each-other/
      It's a post all moms should read. Enjoy.

      Delete
    7. I get that she can take criticism and apply it constructively, but I wouldn't go as far as connecting the writing on her blog, which is like a public journal, to her teaching ability. From the year that I've followed Danielle, I know that she takes a lot of time and does a ton of research on how to best homeschool her children. I work as a marketing writer for an engineering firm full of brainiacs but that doesn't mean I don't see a good share of typos, even simple ones like forgetting the space in the word "alot", and I don't think of my colleagues as being any less intelligent or capable of doing their work effectively. As a daily reader of this blog, I know that Danielle barely has time to get her thoughts down for a post so if she misspells a word, I'm not going to stop reading because I always get the message and she writes from her heart.

      Delete
    8. dear mr/mrs "I don't want to leave my name"
      stop using an EXCUSE for your INEXCUSEABLE behavior, it's that simple. you're an adult and you know what CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is, and you know that your tone does not portray that. you know that it wasn't.

      Delete
    9. I'm not sure I understand why Anon feels that it is acceptable to criticize Danielle at all? I understand what you're saying, but I feel it is grossly inappropriate. It is not your right to give unsolicited advice to anyone. This is a woman who talks about living her life on a small budget. That should be the only topic of discussion for readers to respond to. I don't share some of the same values as the blogger but I would never think to open a discussion about the differences in our beliefs, it wouldn't be appropriate. I come here because I enjoy the articles, clothes, food, and tips for living on a reduced income. --

      Delete
  48. I'm so sorry that someone hurt you. These days there are so many people that love themselves and their opinions more that treating people with love.
    A year ago I had to stop working and we became a one income family. Your blog helped me so much. I started following the principles on budgeting and filling my pantry. My husband works in construction and every winter his work slows, but because of your blog I knew we wouldn't starve to death. I took the principles on your blog and ran with them, applying them to our family. I've shown your blog to lots of friends who wanted to know how on earth we are not just surviving, but living and enjoying life on a strict budget. I guess my point is that no two families are the same. What my family eats may not be what your family would like, but the principles behind the food budget are still the same.

    Don't stop doing what you do. I truly appreciate your blog and all the help you have given me and my family.

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  49. SHAME ON THEM!!!! They need to GROW-UP! I love your blog and read it every week. I am 60 years old and have been frugal for years - but have learned so much from you. Thank you for what you do.
    You are a champion and they are just mean and nasty. They probably treat everyone that way and odds are they are lonely, bitter people.
    Keep up the good work.
    Cheryl

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  50. I am every bit of a 'crunchy mama' and I love all of your posts. I refused to use a microwave until recently, avoid pesticides, medicines, artificial hormones like the plague, etc... and I APPRECIATED your frozen foods post very much! The truth is, if you are as busy of a family on a budget as I think the both of us are, frozen foods/occasional processed foods WILL keep you out of the drive thru line as you said. And if you'd rather go through the drive thru line than eat a frozen dinner, you are certainly not as broke as the audience the post was intended for.

    For the record, those of you constantly correcting other's grammars–you come off as pompous. My grammar is not the best either, but to be honest, I couldn't care less as I am trilingual along with all of the computer languages I am fluent in. I'm certain this ensures that I am quite intelligent.

    Anyway, thank you for keeping up with your blog :)

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  51. What's wrong with freezer foods? Since I had baby number two I've discovered all about freezer foods from blogs including yours, and they have meant we have had food to eat! I'm still using quality, fresh ingredients, so why is that a problem? Not sure why people are getting upset about it!

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  52. You are a brilliant woman. I marvel at your level of organization and your ability to think outside the box. I appreciate the amount of work that goes into your blogging- it takes a really awesome brain to do what you do! Plus, you are such a lovely, relatable person. Don't even get me started on someone criticizing your parenting- how dare they. Please remember that you are doing SUCH an amazing thing for others by sharing your tips. I hope you realize the impact that you are making. Financial stress is a huge marriage wrecker- have you ever considered that you may be helping relationships with what you do? How about moms who may have not been able stay at home if not for your money-saving tips? Keep going with your awesome self and don't let the haters get you down!

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  53. I always find it interesting that those who are quick to criticize tend to "hide" behind the anonymous identity. Perhaps they aren't so perfect themselves and are hiding something? NO ONE is perfect and your errors and so forth are not so horrible that the grammar police should feel the need to point them out. If they want something to nit-pick about, send them to some of the fanfiction over on Wattpad!!! As for the other negative comments, I think that it's probably someone who is jealous because they didn't come up with the idea themselves. There seems to be a lot of troll activity on the internet lately with people criticizing creative folks, Jillian at ReFashionista has been getting a lot of it too. It must be horrible to spend all of your time being negative. Hang in there Danielle, there are plenty of folks out there who appreciate your efforts!

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  54. Just wanted say, Thanks from the bottom of my heart for all your hard work. I love coming to your blog. It inspires me and helps me realize there are lots of mama's out there in my situation. Especially those who make things work on one income. You are my hero and my inspiration. You are the cutest and you have a darling sense of humor. Thanks for inspiring me in all areas of my life.

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  55. Keep your head up ! You have A LOT more people that just adore you and think you are the absolute best . Thanks for all your hard work on your blog. You are a inspiration to me. I love visiting your blog it has been a huge help to me and I know other mama's out there .

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  56. So many good points have been made: Bullying of any kind needs to stop. Constructive critism needs to be given with kindness and an effort to help someone better themselves, not as a tool for bullying. We are charged with holding each other up, not tearing down. It doesn't matter what stage of life we are in, we can all learn something from each other, share it, pass it on.
    As for all the critism about education: Danielle, I admire you for taking on the challenge of home-schooling your children. I chose not to do that. My son has behavioral issues that have him suspended out of school quite a bit. There is a long history that is attached to my son and why behaviors have to be dealt with in a different fashion - I'm not going to go in to that here, except to say that home-schooling would not work for us. Public school doesn't work either because they aren't equipped to handle the behaviors and even an alternate school setting can be challenging. My son is just getting by but that's not my standard. I would love to see him excel and get better grades, make friends and be a star athlete or musician. In reality that's not going to happen. During the course of navigating the public school system, I have found many things that I don't like, a standard I don't appreiciate, a philosphy that says one thing and in reality something less is the actuality. We are so obsessed with how things look that we forget it takes a village to raise a child. It's our extended families, healthy relationships, churches, social groups like scouts, church groups, sports, etc. We are obsessed with who has what, is wearing who and driving what expensive car we can't afford.
    Danielle, thank you for keeping it real. Are you perfect, no, absolutely not. We all fall short of the glory. I'm not perfect and know it and still I try. What's a misspelled word or grammar mistake or punctuation error in the grand scheme of things. Is it going to get you into Heaven? Your heart is in the right place. You obviously love your children and husband and God. All of them will forgive you for spelling something wrong. Or putting a period where a question mark should have been. Even the most experienced bloggers make mistakes on their posts.
    I write a blog too. Nothing nearly as educating as yours, but they are supposed to be fun. I've made some really good friends through it around the world. I was also warned about how cruel people in blog-land can be. My only suggestion to Mr. and/or Ms. Annonymous is that if you don't like what you see on Danielle's blog, then stop reading it. You don't have to be cruel or demeaning. As far as educating her children, there is a criteria that has to be followed and their education is being monitored. If they are not getting what they need from "Mom", then she'll have to answer for it and take care of whatever the short-falls are. My best advice to you is to move on, without saying anything else, and leave her alone.

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  57. I am always puzzled when a blogger talks about being criticized so harshly. If I don't like what someone posts, I quit reading that blog. There is no reason to be nasty to someone. Everyone makes mistakes, or misspells things. It is not a big deal. I am sorry someone was rude to you.

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  58. Danielle, you are a great mom, and I learn so much from your blog! I think it's great that you're putting your ideas into a book, and I can't wait to read it.

    I'm sorry you felt so beat up by the comments on the freezer food entry, but I went back and read them, and I didn't walk away with the same messages you expressed and quoted above. I don't think there were many personal attacks against you, although a few were critical of the content of this blog. It must hurt to have people point out mistakes in your grammar or to disagree with your stance on food, but I think that just goes with the territory of being a popular blog. And imagine once you publish your book. The reviews and feedback will probably be even more public and more varied! People have opinions, and as much as they might like to read your blog, they won't always agree with or admire your work. Remember when people challenged your claims that margarine was better than butter? That ended up being a great opportunity to reassess your (and our) understandings about an everyday kitchen staple. Even though people were openly disagreeing, just as some did over the idea that the freezer foods in the post were healthy, it was a productive conversation to have.

    I like reading your views, as well as those that might be contradictory. Together, they help me decide what's best for me and my family. You're a wonderful person and an awesome blogger. Rock on, and keep up the great work. I only see you becoming a better writer, role model, and teacher as you continue this journey with your readers. Thanks for all you do!

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    Replies
    1. I absolutely agree. I don't expect everyone to agree with every post. We all have different backgrounds and experience. In fact I think it's great that we can share and get different ideas. That's encouraging and inspiring. We can truly learn so much from one another. This post just had to do with comments and emails I've gotten that were unsavory. Thank you for your sweet comment. I really appreciate it :)

      Delete
  59. Feedback is always a good thing, but the way you say it can make a huge difference. If you can say things with a positive spin, that's always welcomed or at least considered, but once it reads as attacking or judgmental, then the reader automatically gets turned off. So to those "anonymous" comment posters, you're not wrong, you're just doing it wrong. To get a better understanding of what I'm saying, here's the difference between "feedback" and "criticism" according to Merriam-Webster (m-w.com):

    feed•back
    noun \ˈfēd-ˌbak\
    : helpful information or criticism that is given to someone to say what can be done to improve a performance, product, etc.

    crit·i·cism
    noun \ˈkri-tə-ˌsi-zəm\

    : the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing : the act of criticizing someone or something

    Which one do you think will get the message through in a helpful way?

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  60. Danielle, I am so sorry that you had to actually post this. People are so rude!!! I am sorry. I have been following your blog for a long time now. I am an empty nesting mom. I love reading about your life. I've learned so much from you. Dont let those Annons hurt you. We love you!!!!

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  61. Don't let that person push your buttons. I have learned there are mean, jealous, petty people in this world, but for every one of them, there are 100 nice people. People who are truly happy for you. Focus on the nice people and how THEY make you feel - not how that one person made you feel. I rarely comment on a blog but felt I must let you know that I've been following your blog for a long time and how much I enjoy reading it. How about writing a post about a nice comment someone said. And on home schooling - - I would have lost my mind on the first day with my 2 kids - I applaud you for doing so. All of the home schooled kids I know are smart as a whip! Keep up the good work.

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  62. Good grief Anon rude commenters......there are a bazillion (ya, that's probably not grammatically correct) blogs out there to read. If you cringe at typos and don't agree with Danielle's ideas then move on to a different blog to read! I'll never understand why people spend their time on things they don't even like!

    Danielle - love your blog, your enthusiasm for life and your family. I don't have "littles" at home anymore and homeschooling would have been the last thing I (for my temperament) would have done, but that doesn't mean I can't relate to your posts and enjoy reading how you make it all work. You are sweet and lovely!

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  63. Danielle, Thank you for the encouragement that you give us! I read your blog constantly and you have given me nothing but great ideas for saving money, great recipes, and encouragement to be a great mom. Thank you so much!!!

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  64. (((HUGS))) I'm sorry that someone with their own issues are taking it out on you. I'm so sad for you and sad for them, but my heart aches for you.

    Danielle as far as you being 'thin-skinned' don't believe it - it's an EXCUSE for their INEXCUSEABLE behavior, a way for him/her to feel ok about how they are treating someone. Good thing you proofed my post before you posted it - they would have DIED from all my misspelling and grammar mistakes, LOL!

    I wish there was an auto delete software that could scan and delete a comment if it had so many negative words in it, just so your heart didn't have to hurt!

    ReplyDelete
  65. I'm sorry you went through that. I am a homemaker on a fixed income. Granted, I don't have children, but your advice is great regardless. I have learned a lot on how to be frugal and make the best use of my money, and frankly, you've been an inspiration to me. I thoroughly enjoy your blog, Facebook page, and YouTube videos. Try not to let people get you down...I know that's easier said than done because I have a tender heart like you. But you know what's best for you and your family, and other people just need to respect that.

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  66. I am sorry to hear that. Please keep sharing your blogs and post you do. I have really enjoyed them and have learn a lot. Also enjoy see what other people buy and use for there family. I can remember a time when we eat only peanut butter sandwiches and roman noodles, yes I know not healthy but when that is all we could afford at the time. Thank you again for what you do, Please keep sharing.

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  67. Awwww, that is disappointing. I'm a "words" person, too, and people don't realize how powerfully what they say can affect others. I really enjoy your posts, especially the recipe ideas, and I'm with you - you do what you need to to feed your little people right then. Good for you for sticking to it!

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  68. I'm so glad to see you stand up for yourself. Damn haters are gonna hate... Thanks for linking up to Pin Your Friday Favorite, I'm glad I got to see this!

    ReplyDelete

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