Blissful and Domestic - Creating a Beautiful Life on Less: How to Strengthen Your Marriage to Unthinkable Heights

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

How to Strengthen Your Marriage to Unthinkable Heights

Make your Marriage Last a Lifetime
  This is a guest post by Tiffany McKay

Why is it so hard to step outside our comfort zone? Maybe it's fear or maybe it's that we are too comfortable.  Marriage comes with changes,whether it's a difference in how to put the dishes away, hobbies, family traditions, the way to fold socks or a number of things. Before my husband and I got married, we were given excellent advice. 

God gave you both 
different interests and talents,
that's what will make 
your marriage 
Grow together 
what your spouse loves.
Doing this will make 
 to unthinkable heights. 

I started losing sight of this important principle. Our marriage started to feel one-sided my way or his way. After a week or so of this I promised myself to start trying new things that he enjoyed.

Recently I noticed my husband was overwhelmed and overworked. Poor guy! What could I do to help? Then I realized free fish day was the next day. He had taken me fishing once while I was pregnant and it was hot and muddy, not to mention all the bugs.  Anyways, I took him fishing, and you should have seen his smile... he was so surprised! 

Make your Marriage Last a Lifetime

Make your Marriage Last a Lifetime

My love for him grew to a new level that day. Seeing him happy, made me happy too.  Love blossoms in the places we least expect it too.  Now I love fishing as long as I have bug spray and sunscreen! Isn't that funny, I normally would have never gone fishing, but now I really do enjoy spending the day with my hubby trying to catch a nice big trout! 

Make your Marriage Last a Lifetime

Make your Marriage Last a Lifetime

Marriage is not about who is right and who is wrong. Marriage is all about learning to love your spouse. One of the best ways I have found now to work on that is through supporting my husband in what HE loves to do. Yes, he supports me too if you are wondering that. I love LOVE sewing and crafty projects and he always takes the time to help watch the baby so I can let my creativity shine! So, try something your spouse loves and see why it makes them happy. As you see your spouse doing what they love, your love for them will grow. What are you waiting for... let your marriage grow to unthinkable heights. 


Thank you so much Tiffany! I love this post and the sweet message it shares. 
Don't forget to check out Tiffany on her blog!
 I am loving her clean eating printable

XO Danielle

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  1. He helps watch his own child?!? Wow... just.. wow....
    (At least, I'm assuming it's his child as well. Otherwise it would actually make a bit more sense)
    Yes, this might work, if you are a masochist.
    I honestly don't mean to sound rude, if this works for you, than good for you.
    But what this describes is not a good marriage or relationship, at least not in my opinion. And I am sure it will not strengthen your relationship, not for the long haul at least.
    I like my relationships equal. Sure it can't be a 100% equal all the time, it very rarely is, it's a matter of give and take. Sometimes he needs more (more: attention, sleep, food, back-rubs, sofa time, money, patience, space, understanding, forgiveness etc, etc) and sometimes I need more. And when we both need more (or less) at the same time, THAT is when you talk and decide, together, what the best option/solution is. THAT is when you can both show your love and understanding for each other, not just for one person.
    Personally I don't have to learn to love my husband, I already did that when we got married (although I do get what you are trying to say. I think..).
    Yes, it's nice to have things you can do together, because you both enjoy them (and yes, maybe you enjoy them, just because he is having a great time), and always, always try out new things, maybe even more than once. But just because you really don't like something your partner loves, doesn't mean you love your partner any less (or that your partner loves you any less, just because he/she wants to to those things/or does not want to do them!)
    I don't know why, but for some reason this piece really rubs me the wrong way...

    1. Sarah,
      After reading your comment I feel that there are a few things I need to make clear. First off, yes my husband does help watch his own child even after working long hours and attending school. We constantly are working together as a team by helping and serving one another. I don’t quite understand how this makes me a masochist. But I hope explaining this a little better will help me better clarify what I was trying to say in my article.
      You mentioned you like your relationships to be equal. That is a great goal to strive towards. You then mentioned your method of “give and take”. In other words you do acts of service for him just as he does for you. If you read my article all the way through, you will see that essentially your idea of “give and take” applies to what I have written. In the second paragraph you suggested that my husband is the voice in our home. I'm not quite sure where you drew that conclusion. Actually one of the reasons why I married him was because of his respect for my views and beliefs.
      I am glad you feel you don't have to learn to love your husband. And yes, when I first married my husband I felt I was absolutely in love with him—and I was. But as we have learned and grown together (giving and taking) I have learned to love him in so many new and wonderful ways.
      It is true that just because we don’t like our spouses activities, doesn't mean we love them any less. As my husband and I have served one another especially through trying new activities that the other might enjoy (give and take) our love for one another has grown to unthinkable heights. For example recently he helped me with a crafting project. He held the baby, while I sewed. Later we laughed our way through trying to figure out a Pinterest pattern, while we ironed fabric and watched Big Bang Theory.
      I wish you all the best and hopes this clears up a few things.

  2. Thanks for sharing Danielle! Love your blog!

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  4. As someone who has been married for 26 years, I am glad to see that you have realized that marriage takes work. It's easy to say "oh I love my husband so much" when you've only been married for a couple of years. Things happen, personal struggles occur, all things that change BOTH of you as people. Being able to realize that marriage is more than all hearts and flowers and that your spouse is an individual as well as being part of a couple is very important.

    I've watched couples we know set themselves up for failure. One thing that makes me cringe is a husband or a wife who "hates" what the other is interested in and forbids them from doing it. I can honestly say that when I met my husband, the last thing I thought I would be interested in is sports and him theatre. We now do both together, last year for Christmas we bought tickets to Cirque du Soleil as our big gift and every weekend we watch golf on TV together. We used to actually golf together until I seriously screwed up my knee. If you ask anyone who knew me before I met him if they thought I would ever play golf, they would have said "heck no!", but I found that I really enjoyed it. These are just two examples of things that we do together that started out as an interest of just one of us.

    Recently we were at a wedding together and talking with friends we hadn't seen in a long time. I was really surprised when my husband started talking about MY crafting projects and how impressed he was with what I was doing. Made me feel great!

  5. We celebrated our 36 th Wedding Anniversary on Tuesday. What's our secret???? We have always worked different shifts for the whole 36 years!!!! Now I have no idea what we will do when he retires in 2 years and i go part time!! LOL!!


  6. I never understand it when people say things like that. We have been married 41 years and truly like to be together as much as possible. We are retired now, but when he was working, and I sometimes worked outside the home, I always took whatever job would let me mesh my hours with his. The few times we were forced to work opposite shifts for a short while, it just seemed that so much was missing , that we were just existing, not living.

    I've heard so many women say awful things about having a retired husband home all the time, and I think that is so sad. From my perspective, being free to be home all the time and do as we please together is finally our reward for all the years of punching time clocks.


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