Blissful and Domestic - Creating a Beautiful Life on Less: Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

I can't even believe I just wrote the words...."it's been a year". That night we got the news seems forever ago, but still so fresh in my mind. 365 days...how is that possible? I miss you dear brother. I miss you every single day. I know I don't talk about it a lot...probably because if I did I know I would break down and you know I only like to break down when I am watching sappy movies like "My Girl". I know that Macaulay Culkin dies at the end of the movie, when he goes to get his friend's ring, but it still breaks my heart every time. This year has brought great struggles and many tears. It has brought laughter and joy as well. Laughter when we think of the crazy things you did. Like when you and your friend jumped off the roof into our pool or when you threw a pomegranate at our neighbors door because he called me fat....always my protector you were. Only you were allowed to make fun of your little sister.

Dear Brother: It's Been a Year... 
 Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...
Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

Mom's been doing better. She watches your slide show from the funeral often. I think it makes her feel closer to you. I can't watch it. In fact I haven't seen it since we played it at the funeral. It's too hard. I do however think of us playing hide and seek in the cul-de-sac in the summer, with all the other kids in the neighborhood often. You were always better at hiding and not getting caught...I think that's why you always let me hide near you. I want you to know you were an amazing brother. You always stuck up for me and supported me. I miss the rides to dance class, when you would blast Metallica and Beastie Boys. I felt cool in the car with you. I still cry sometimes at night because I miss you. I know I will get to see you again some day and I know that day will be very glorious for our family. Every time we have a family gathering I think of you. I think of the things you would say and the crazy stories you would make up. I always believed you no matter what...I think you called it being gullible :)  I love you dear brother and I know you are doing amazing work on the other side. I know that you are in God's grace and that brings me great comfort. I know you would be proud of all that we have done this year. Our family has had to continue on without you, but you are not forgotten...not for a single moment. You are with us wherever we go. I think of you often when I am cooking. You always shined in the kitchen. I made pasta the other night from scratch and I wondered if you made yours this way too. I am so thankful for forever families. I am thankful that God loved us so much that He sent His son. I am thankful that no matter what we do in this life, we can be saved. I love you dear brother every moment of the day. I pray we can continue to be strong, to honor you as we continue to live and grow. You are in our hearts always and forever. Until we meet again...

Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

Dear Brother: It's Been a Year...

*I know this is a bunch of ramblings, but for me....I needed to write this. I didn't want this day to go by without me writing something. Often I have wanted to write about the grieving process and all that has happened this last year, but I can't. I can tell you though how thankful I am for all the sweet comments and emails you send my way. Even after a year, you are still concerned about me and I thank you. I truly have some of the most amazing readers. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I pray if you are having a hard time or are grieving, I pray you take it to the the Lord. He is what has brought me through this year. Although we have had some hard times, He has also brought some great blessings as well. God does not forget us..even in our darkest of times. He is there to carry us, when we are to weak to stand. Often I felt my Savior bringing me through, speaking to me through the words of my loved ones around me. I pray you feel comfort today in knowing that you matter to Him and that He is aware of you. Turn to Him. He can make your load light.

You can see more Dear Brother Posts HERE

God Bless!

XO Danielle

3 comments:

  1. Beautiful!
    Lots of love and hugs to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a lovely way to remember your brother.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Danielle,
    I am a new follower of your blog, so I am just learning of your horrible loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.. May God bless each of you and comfort you as only He can. May you feel His loving arms around you.

    Your brother sounds like a wonderful brother,son , friend, So happy for your loving relationship you had with him.

    I lost my daddy 10 yrs ago. The pain is easier as the years go by, but will never go away.. The fun times, the hard times, are so vivid in my mind. Even thought he was older, and had lung trouble [which I thought would take him away], he got up one morning, told my mom , he felt better than he had in a long time..Sit on the porch and had his coffee-- and all of a sudden had an aneurism. The worst phone call of my life... Sorry , didn't mean to write so much..

    Hugs, hugs, hugs my sweet sister in the Lord.. Just know.. He is with our Heavenly Father, and having a wonderful time in Heaven.. And It won't be long, until we get to join them. Just imagine what a family reunion , we will all have that day..

    ReplyDelete

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