Sunday evening, as I prepared dinner, I found myself in front of the sink washing vegetables. Yesterday was an emotionally rough day...I've seemed to have a few of those lately. I miss my brother like crazy.....I hate that infertility has become a part of my life....I have been overwhelmed to say the least.....as I stood in front of my sink...dealing with all of those emotions....I sent up a prayer.
"Ok God....what do you want me to do with my life....I'm tired....sad....and just down right exhausted with it all.....What do you want me to do?"
After I sent up that prayer, I finished putting dinner together. As I gathered plates and forks, to set the table with, something happened....I placed all of our plates down and the last one went in front of where I sit to eat each day and it had a special message for me....You see all of our plates have fun little phrases and sayings on them. It just so happened that my plate for the night said "Pray More Worry Less". I looked down at that ceramic plate...covered in sharpie doodles.....just a little craft project done on a Friday night...little did I know that sharpie plate would bring me so much comfort.
So praying more and worrying less is my new mantra. I can't bring my brother back....no matter how much I wish we had one more day.....I can't make my infertility struggles go away...no matter how much I wish I could....what I can do is it give it to my Savior. He knows that I am struggling. He knows the tears that I cry and the despair that I feel. What a blessing that is to me. Being reminded of a simple thing like praying, was exactly what I needed last night. It was the comfort and strength I so needed, as I start a new week.
I can feel my faith strengthening.....as I ask for my Heavenly Father's help because alone I am not strong enough....but through Him I am brave...through Him I have courage....through Him I am made whole.
Inspiration Found Here- What is Prayer?